> the community norm is for guys to take care of each other,
          > and do their best to protect each other.

Except for those that are killing each other or giving each other a terrible disease.


          > The majority of gay men are not trying to get each other
          > infected.

How do you know this?


          > The rates of HIV among gay men are unacceptably high, and
          > we must address this,

Clearly that is not happening.


          > but it is not the case that all gay men are reckless,
          > irresponsible and immoral/amoral.

You should speak to anyone who makes the claim that ALL gay men are reckless, irresponsible, immoral, or amoral. If there is one gay man who is not, then there are likely to be two, etc.